Lay Me Down
by Marawa
Summary: With Naruto's threat to leave Konoha and find Sasuke on his own, Sakura falls desperate. She turns to Jiraiya, offering him her body and servitude in return for the skills she needs to save her teammates but when Jiraiya asks for more than she can give, she begins to question not only her sanity but the ninja way as well. Jiraiya x Sakura.
1. Jade

Lay Me Down

* * *

Chapter 1: Jade

* * *

One muffled shift too many outside the bathhouse changing room made Sakura get to her feet, half-naked to investigate.

Believing the establishment to be empty, save the owner, Sakura had come to unwind that evening but a cautious kunoichi should be ready for anything. Especially considering so many people were still going missing from the village and neighbouring villages with the return of Orochimaru's experiments.

She cursed, knowing a moment of peace was too much to ask for times like these.

Holding her discarded shirt in front of her modesty she quickly darted outside with her luminous chakra-infused fist. Ready to strike she drew her toned arm back and with a swing her fist was just centimetres from the face the perpetrator's face.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Jiraiya fell on the ground with an abrupt crash as Sakura pinned him down.

He looked rather pleased with himself.

"You wouldn't harm an old man, would you?" Sakura hesitated but not because of the shinobi's lame excuse. She thought about Tsunade and dreaded her reaction when Sakura's name was splashed across the news in the morning for attacking one of the legendary Sannin.

Jiraiya's eyes were alive with excitement however, rather than fear.

"Try me!" she increased the flow of chakra to her fist and it buzzed and shone a luminescent green hovering centimetres from the man's face as she considered the punishment she'd receive for beating him to a pulp.

She was shocked; she'd never been one of Jiraiya's victims before. And the violation that she felt as a result of his snooping both infuriated and prepared her to attack.

The man chuckled with a lecherous grin that stretched from ear to ear. "Ah…can I get up now?" he asked. Sakura lingered before sharply unmounting him and skirting away from the man.

"I'm only going to ask you this once, what the hell do you think you're doing here?" she whispered slowly.

Jiraiya reorganised his crumpled clothes as he got to his feet. "Well, you see, I was lost and then I decided to take a relaxing bath only to realise this is the women's bathhouse. Silly me."

"You were spying on me you pervert!" Sakura shouted. Perhaps her volume would alert the owner.

He went to open his mouth and then paused as he considered his words and decided upon something Sakura was sure he'd quickly made up. "Actually, I was just making my way out. I came to see if anyone was here."

"Thought you said you got 'lost'?" she huffed.

He was caught. "I never did get my story straight." He laughed, infuriating Sakura further.

"If you don't want me to tell Tsunade so that she rightfully destroys every bone in your body for trying to violate my privacy, you have to do something for me." The words left her mouth before she realised what she had said.

"Anything, sweet cherry blossom." The man seemed delighted by her ultimatum. Then again, anything was better than being on the receiving end of Tsunade's rage. Jiraiya of all of people would know.

Sakura rolled her eyes.

"Fine," she paused, thinking intently. "You have to train me."

Jiraiya stilled.

"You heard me."

Jiraiya cocked his head to the side reminding Sakura of her half-dressed state; she fixed her shirt in front of her cold torso and reminded herself that she shouldn't be having a conversation with him in this state.

But he had asked for it and she needed to get her own back.

Become an opportunist.

"Train…you?" Jiraiya looked Sakura from the tips of her toes right up to her flushed face with a smirk and then made a face as though he may laugh.

"You filthy pervert! Not like that." She snapped and shook her head. "Are you deaf as well as blind? I know you can read, it says 'Women's bathhouse' on the entrance." She pointed up to the sign that was posted in multiple places, though the owners of the bathhouse had dealt with Jiraiya's kind previously and needed the reinforcement.

"I'm a writer, maybe you've heard of my work. I needed inspiration! For my new book!" he said scratching his head, his long mane of white hair almost touched the ground. "I was thinking of calling it Icha Icha Blossom, or Icha Icha Cherry! It has a nice ring to it, don't you think?"

Sakura snarled at the man.

He nervously continued, rethinking his words. "Okay. You got me." He said holding his hands out.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have followed you. It's not every day I get the chance to see a pretty cherry blossom take a bath. I'm a busy man, you know. I would have liked to join you."

She fumed. "Look, you perv, if you've got enough time to be spying on girls in a bathhouse for 'inspiration' then you've got more than enough time to train me." She replied.

Sighing she went on, "I should just report you to, Lady Tsunade," She crossed her arms. "I'm sure she will be interested to hear what you've been up to, again."

Every now and then women would pass their complaints to Tsunade's secretary and speak of the lustful shinobi making unwanted advances towards them. It seemed, Tsunade never had anything positive to say about the Sannin nor any woman within Konoha.

"Ah, that won't be necessary!" Jiraiya said nervously shaking his head. His hands stretched out in front of him to show her he was unarmed. But Sakura knew better. "I'm harmless, I swear." He laughed again backing away slowly. Something told Sakura it was the fact Jiraiya liked having his ribs intact which made him say that as she'd seen the man in hospital before after being caught simply irritating the Hokage.

"Then you will train me." She said firmly. By her tone he knew Sakura had already decided her words were final regardless of what he thought.

His smile slowly receded and was replaced by amusement at Sakura's demands. "I guess I have no choice."

"You're very right. Now get lost so I can get dressed. I better not catch you around here again or I will inform Lady Tsunade of your trespassing. Your perverted ways are criminal, may I remind you."

He chuckled. The idea of this grown man, a legendary shinobi constantly prowling the village for unguarded women irritated her immensely. Surely, he could do something better with his time and abilities?

"Tomorrow morning at seven. The training grounds."

"That's rather early, isn't it?"

She paused.

"Be there or expect to wake up to broken legs." She warned him.

Jiraiya backed away slowly, tripping as he did so while Sakura huffed and walked away to get dressed.

* * *

"Sakura." He purred.

"Jiraiya-san." She spat.

"So polite," He cheered clasping his hands together. "I guess we should get started."

"What exactly do you want to learn?"

Sakura raised a perfectly pink eyebrow. "I'm sure you don't ask your students questions like that. When you train Naruto, you do not ask he what he wants to work on, do you? Shouldn't that be your decision as my mentor, to take charge?" she said. Clearly she'd been following Tsunade for a long time by the way she quickly judged Jiraiya's lack of preparation.

Jiraiya was lost for words. "Ah, take charge. Alright then."

"I guess we can start with some ninjutsu then."

He readied himself and put his hands on his hips. "Do you have a special technique we can focus on to start with?"

Silence.

"Any will be fine."

Sakura tightened her lips. "No?" he appeared surprised but Sakura hoped this wasn't his way of mocking her.

"No one's ever taught me one." She said shortly. He knew she was studying under the Hokage and for that he was right to expect more, much to Sakura's chagrin.

"Well, Kakashi's good for nothing then, isn't he?" he said. "He was your sensei, why didn't he teach you Chidori or Rasengan at least, just to start off with?"

The look on his face was of genuine concern which only added to her humiliation.

"He just didn't, okay. Moving on, teach me something." With her current stance she looked ready to fight, Jiraiya however, was not entirely convinced that she was ready to move forwards.

"Perhaps we should me at my humble abode before we continue. I'd like to plan your training sessions before we go along with them."

"No, you perv," She said angrily. "Look, I didn't come all this way to have you try to distract me. I'm in the right mind to go and tell Tsunade-shishou what you've been up to."

Jiraiya laughed and placed his hands on his hips. "A good shinobi takes the time to plan prior to jumping into some new, strenuous routine."

"You just made that up."

"But it's true, is it not?" his welcoming gaze was questionable but if worst came to worst, at least she would have reasons for fighting off the shinobi.

"My house at eight." He grinned.

She bit her lip. "For training?"

"For training." He assured her.

With a sigh she complied. "Fine, but no funny business. I swear-"

"No funny business. I promise."

* * *

After retrieving Jiraiya's address from the Konoha council on 'business affairs' she made her way to the edge of Konoha.

Everywhere, men, women and children began lighting lanterns and candles as darkness rolled through the village.

She was beginning to reconsider her sharp demands. What could she possibly learn from the hermit?

She'd never actually seen him in action but she could not deny that his reputation preceded him. If there was one man besides Kakashi that was praised by every ninja in Konoha, it was Jiraiya. And Naruto certainly respected the man, though she suspected for various reasons not limited to his famed skills.

When she approached his door she said goodbye to the peace she'd had on her journey there. In the coming months she'd begun to hate the moments where she had to social. But it was to better her skills, she reminded herself.

She knocked and soon after Jiraiya came to door and revealed himself. He wore a simple long jade green kimono with a white trim and oak wood sandals, not exactly the ware Sakura could imagine as fighting gear. He smirked and stepped aside to welcome Sakura in.

"I'm glad you could make it."

"Hm." She said. Sakura stepped inside cautiously and forced herself to discard the temptation to tell Jiraiya the deal was off.

"Tea?"

"Oh," Sakura was stunned. "Yes please."

Jiraiya's home was well simply designed and traditional to her surprised with only a short-legged table and cushions in the centre of the room, a larger stool by the wall and a bookshelf that stretched the entire length of the room.

In the next room there seemed be a kitchen but the dim lighting of the candles lit across the room made Sakura unsure.

Then Jiraiya motioned that she sat. Sakura was hopeful that this 'planning', or whatever Jiraiya called it would not take up the whole evening but his calm disposition told her he would not be in the mood to spar unless to defend himself against her losing her patience.

Sakura watched as Jiraiya sat opposite her and poured them both a small cup of brown liquid.

Sakura sniffed the drink and tasted it before making a disgusted face "Did you put alcohol in this?"

"What do you think you're doing?" she asked loudly.

Jiraiya smiled.

"It is fermented but it's not alcohol." He offered her proof by handing her the box the tea had come from on the side of the table for her to observe. She took a moment to sniff and look around its contents. She calmed herself and cursed for overreacted.

"Sorry."

"I've already forgotten." He motioned for Sakura to finish her beverage.

"Ugh!"

"It's good for you."

Sakura quickly downed the rest of the small cup and then moved it far away from her side of the table so that Jiraiya would not pour her another as her eyes drifted away.

"Orochimaru…" she breathed.

Jiraiya turned his attention to Sakura's gaze. Team Hiruzen stared back at him from a pristine photograph framed on a table a few feet from them both.

Jiraiya took his time to observe the image whilst Sakura watched him for his reaction. He searched the image intently like he had no doubt done before many times but the look in his eyes sought to find something he might have missed.

She noticed that he'd gone quiet.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to...um…" Sakura said looking down. "I'm just shocked to see you'd keep your team picture with him, after everything that's happened."

A flicker of discomfort crossed his face and Sakura was sure the memories of their battles hurt. After a long time he said, "It's okay."

"Tsunade's in it too," He reminded her, his smile returning softly. He then pointed to what she could easily assume was a young Jiraiya. "And this handsome young devil, why wouldn't I want to keep a picture of him around?"

Sakura snorted.

She looked back to the photograph and at the young shinobi.

The red markings by his eyes had been much shorter, pointed and his hair a fuzzy white mop. In the photo he was smiling, much like Naruto did, with an expression of complete and utter satisfaction. Oblivious to his teammates' emotions.

Tsunade seemed uninterested by her teammates but nevertheless, posed for the photograph besides a doting youthful Hiruzen.

But what kept catching her eye was Orochimaru, lurking in the background with disdain and though there was no resemblance, his demeanour made her think of Sasuke.

"Was he always, so…?"

Jiraiya nodded. "But, that's for another time." He said waving his hand indifferently and raising the corners of his lips to smile.

She understood, not wanting to further intrude.

"Why were you at the hot springs Jiraiya-san?" she said slowly.

He beamed. "I told you, research."

"I thought you hadn't published a book in a few years." She said tilting her head to one side. Jiraiya made a face which conveyed his astonishment.

"How do you know that?" he laughed inquisitively. "Does this cherry blossom read Icha Icha Paradise?" he said leaning on forwards dreamily.

"You wish." She scolded him. "Kakashi doesn't talk about much outside of training, and when he does, ninety-nine percent of the time it's about your salacious books."

"Salacious? I take offense at that."

Jiraiya brought his cup of tea to his lips and then paused. "I heard crying."

Sakura avoided the Sannin's gaze and for a while they sat in silence.

"You don't have to explain yourself to me," He said taking a sip from his cup. He came to look serene in the candlelight as it glimmered. "But naturally, I was concerned."

Sakura searched his face and found sincerity.

With his large build, he towered above her but he was not overbearing or domineering. She felt small in front of him like she did in Tsunade's presence, but it served to remind her of power used in a productive way. For if she were in Orochimaru's company instead, she was sure the Sannin would go out of his way to make her feel far more uncomfortable, unlike Jiraiya.

She'd heard stories of his travels from not only Naruto but the women of Konoha who spoke of the numerous women that used throughout the evening. However, as Sakura looked around, she saw no evidence of his mass orgies and conquests.

"What is your relationship like with your teammates?" Jiraiya asked unexpectedly.

"Um," she began, perplexed. From her years under Kakashi's tutelage, she assumed this to be a test but she could think no grand answer to impress the white-haired man. "Well, I don't see much of Kakashi, nor Yamato. Sai tries to be social but I think deep down he prefers being by himself."

Jiraiya stared, as if to will her to continue.

"Naruto's always busy, I'm sure you've got a lot to teach him but I don't see much of him."

Jiraiya sipped his drink. "I haven't seen Naruto in a long while."

Sakura frowned. "Huh? He says he's always with you. He never has time for Team Seven anymore."

The man shook his head. "Well he hasn't been with me, I'm sure for at least a month or so." He claimed.

"He's been lying to me." She concluded – that had to be it. "That's not like Naruto."

Jiraiya finished the last of his tea and went to pour himself another, only to realise he'd already finished the teapot.

"I'm sure whatever it is, he simply didn't want to concern you."

"Oh! Look at the time." Jiraiya said suddenly.

"Looks like we got a bit side-tracked, but tomorrow shall be the beginning of the new and improved Sakura!" he declared. "We will start then."

"Same time tomorrow?" he was beaming. "I promise we will make a start then."

"Fine." She glowered.

At least she'd learned something that day.

* * *

"Hi Sakura, Tsunade-shishou is waiting for you. You can go right in." the Hokage's secretary said signalling the woman's office. Sakura went straight in, immediately hit by the strong scent of strong liquor.

"Tsunade-shishou." Sakura bowed respectfully. The blonde kunoichi stirred from her slumber. It wasn't the first time Sakura had caught her asleep at her desk with a bottle in her hands.

She was overworked.

The woman yawned. "I've got a job for you." Tsunade stretched her aching body, bottle still in hand. Her chestnut brown eyes were wistful.

"I want you to keep an eye on Naruto," Tsunade leaned back in her chair. "Usually I wouldn't waste your time with something like this. You have enough work at the hospital and your own training to do but he won't suspect you. He trusts you."

Sakura faltered at the unusual request.

Naruto and Sakura had been together as friends for so long it was alien to her to imagine him distancing himself from her but she would be lying if she denied her awareness of his reasons since it was happening now.

Naruto was an open book, he had nothing to hide, or so she thought. Sakura felt uneasy about it all.

"Naruto hasn't been reporting to meetings with Team Eight. Nor has he turned up when I have summoned him as of late and I want to know why." Sakura pondered on Tsunade's request and questioned why she hadn't been asked to investigate sooner.

"You want me to follow him."

"If necessary, yes."

An image of Tsunade dragging the blonde boy by his ear entered her mind. Something communicated to Sakura there was more to this story.

"You have a different idea, girl?" Tsunade interrogated.

"Uhm…" she began. "I think we might have an issue with that."

"How so?"

"Jiraiya told me that he's not seen Naruto in so long and yet Naruto's been telling me-" she started curiously. She was confident that if anybody believed Naruto were missing then it would have been reported within the time she'd seen him last.

"Why were you talking to that old fool?" the woman boomed.

"Uh…just walked into him," She claimed. Tsunade raised an eyebrow but did not further question her along that path. "I wanted to know where Naruto was. I was worried." It wasn't a complete lie.

The woman leaned her chin on her palm and gazed at Sakura exhaustedly.

"First of all, I want you to ask Hinata if she knows where he is and then report back to me."

"No offense Tsunade-sama, but why not ask her yourself?" she said. "Not that I mind doing what you ask of me."

"Because that girl looks like she's going to faint whenever I talk to her and I can't deal with that nonsense today." Sakura nodded understanding the woman's dilemma. She'd never been close to Hinata and she deduced that the girl seemed far less intimidated with females her own age.

"Yes, shishou."

The woman gazed into space.

"Is there anything else you need of me, Tsunade-shishou?"

The woman opened her mouth but it was a long moment before she spoke quietly as though the connection between her thoughts and mouth was compromised.

"Don't disappoint me, Sakura."

When had she ever? Sakura bowed and moved towards the door gingerly.

"I won't let you down, shishou."

* * *

Sakura scoured the village for Naruto, asking around as she made her way to see Hinata. It wasn't difficult to find her, in amongst a crowd of familiar faces was the young Hyuga.

She was sitting at a table outside a popular ramen restaurant, the kind of place Naruto would live in if he could.

"Hinata." The sound of her voice startled the girl but she greeted Sakura kindly.

"Hey, I was wondering if you've seen Naruto?"

The girl frowned slightly and shook her head. "No." she said shortly, her voice was quiet but firm.

"Do you know where he may be?"

"No."

Sakura wasn't quite convinced, but she didn't want Hinata's fainting to be her cause.

* * *

"Sakura." He hummed.

"Can we just get started?"

Jiraiya nodded.

"Can you summon Katsuyu?"

"I can, yes." Sakura answered. She expected him to ask for proof and then he cocked his head.

"I think you need to develop your own original technique." She blinked, her mouth agape - that was unexpected.

"Tsunade-sama is always so busy now. She doesn't have the time to spend training me one-one," She admitted. "I wouldn't know where to start."

"How good are you at chakra control?"

"Pretty good." She guessed. Tsunade had at least considered teaching her how to conjure the Strength of a Hundred Seal before more important matters had absorbed her devotion.

"I don't want to lead you astray and make you think you can develop a new technique within just a few hours." He casually put his hands into his pockets. "I'm sure someone on this amazing green earth can. Perhaps Kakashi, or Yamato even."

He took a moment to ignore Sakura's fumes. "But you're not Kakashi, or Yamato, or whoever. You're Sakura." He reminded her. Truthfully she wanted to shout at him but he spoke only the truth. Damn him for that.

"How long?" she bit her lip, fearing the worst.

"It could take a few months," He said shrugging. "Or years."

"It won't."

He sighed for the first time. "You must understand the delicate nature of creating jutsu. It requires so much patience and control." She knew that he knew what he was talking about thinking back to her classes as a child on history and the legendary battles he'd fought alongside Tsunade, Orochimaru and other great shinobi. "If you make the wrong calculations, you might just end up in hospital."

But she so badly wanted him to be wrong. So badly wanted to right on this occasion alone.

"Yes, but I can't wait until I'm fifty to be useful to my friends. I need to be useful now." She said desperately.

He paused.

"How hard are you willing to work for this?"

"Every day, every night. In my dreams even. I want – no, I need to do this," She revealed. "Please Jiraiya-san. I don't want to follow in other people's footsteps for the rest of my life, I don't want to be great - I need to be."

"What's wrong with being a follower?" he mused, his countenance was friendly. "Some of us were made to rule, others to follow. What's wrong with doing what you're good at?"

Sakura imagined herself at the hospital tending to careless children whilst Naruto and Sasuke clashed for the final time only to destroy each other both.

"I don't want to be in Tsunade-sama's shadow for the rest of my life." She started deliberately. "I don't want to just copy her techniques."

"What if you're good at them?"

"I _am_ good at them. But that is beside the point." Sakura said. "Can you stop stalling and teach me something, anything?" she decided in that moment that if by the end of the day she had learnt something new, it wouldn't be considered a wasted day. Time was ticking and her options were wearing thin.

Jiraiya understood. "I'm not going to go easy on you." He warned her, his tone was now serious. "I'm going to push you harder than you can imagine. You will probably want to give up and never talk to me again."

Sakura thought it best not to dwell on his words, especially considering he was probably correct. It would do her no good to try and prepare herself for something which would change her immeasurably.

She closed her eyes. "I'll cross that bridge when I come to it, now, let's begin."

"We already have."

To Sakura's delight, the two began immediately with Jiraiya's first request. It was time to show him what she was capable of.

* * *

Jiraiya offered Sakura his hand as she laid thinking about how much longer she could last. She gripped his hand and heaved herself off the ground.

"That is the last time I will be helping you up." He told her strictly.

She nodded; she didn't want him to go easy on her and she was becoming accustomed to 'this' Jiraiya. Perchance she could learn something from him after all.

Her level of chakra control had surprised him but he wasn't expecting her to be able to control the pure chakra expulsion within the environment on her first try. She'd heard stories of jounin-level ninja being ripped to shreds by their miscalculations of control the first time that they'd tried to manipulate its raw power. And seen the evidence too.

"How are your hand-signs?"

"Quick." She said catching her breath.

"You need to develop your own ninjutsu, your signature move. Or one thereof." She suddenly made the connection and understood his test of her chakra control to be a check of her strength alone. But even Tsunade did not use these kinds of technique.

"Okay. Using what?"

"I have an idea," he said. "I think you should focus on the nature around you, perhaps flowers. Cherry blossoms to be exact."

Sakura put her hands on her hips.

"Hear me out," She narrowed her eyes but gave into his wish. "You say no-one guesses you would be an equal opponent, use that to your advantage."

"Not everyone can jump onto a battle field and simply scare their opponents with their appearance." He said. "You must work to your advantages. For example, I wouldn't take you for a ninja if I saw you outside of your uniform. I could however, imagine you as a sweet young girl, a waitress at a bar maybe." She tried to ignore his crass comment.

"You mean like when you make stupid grandiose statements before your battles?"

He laughed, nodding. "To distract my opponents. They underestimate me. And for that they end up losing the upper hand." He grinned. "See? I knew you'd understand."

"Now, try." He demanded, but Sakura did not know where to begin.

She searched around, looking for answers in her spring surroundings. Tree leaves fluttered across the training rink gracefully.

"Wait a minute," She stopped. "What if there are no flowers, or even plants around me? Like in Sunagakure. How am I going to use it then?"

He smiled at her question. "You develop the justu first, then shape it to suit your new surroundings when you have to. Baby-steps Sakura, baby-steps."

"And perhaps try not looking as though you want to murder your gorgeous sensei." He chuckled folding his arms.

"Why?"

"Like I said previously, your best ally is your secrecy and your appearance. Looking at me like that sort of gives away your intentions to harm me. Only you should know what you're about to do next," He said. "That's not to say you cannot teach your techniques to someone else at a later time, but before that you need to master it. And that means I cannot create it for you."

She nodded. Jiraiya took a seat on the ground with a heave muttering something about his advanced age.

"So, from now on, any ideas must come from you alone."

"Okay, I've got an idea." She said. Sakura turned her back to the man to calculate her hand seals before turning back around and approaching him.

"Can I sit with you?" she suddenly said.

He seemed surprised, but played along. "It must be my lucky day, come hither pretty lady."

Sakura smiled pleasantly and took a seat by the Sannin as cherry blossoms began to drift through the air, swirling and twirling as they did so. He put his heavy arm over her shoulder and pulled her close to him.

"It's a nice day out today." She said softly. She was shocked by her own conviction, but she wanted to make headway today and show Jiraiya she meant business.

The cherry blossoms began to pick up speed in the rush of the warm evening breeze. The trees rustled shushing each other and swaying in the wind.

"How pretty." As the wind picked up they began to rain down on tenderly. Sakura reached out curiously to let a pale pink flower fall into her palm. She looked down at it, realising in all her time being named after such a beautiful flower, she'd not given her time to inspected them up close since she was just a girl, fawning after Sasuke with Ino in tow.

She offered the flower to Jiraiya, "Look." She said sweetly. He seemed pleased with her and took the cherry blossom into his palm before it melted upon contact. The falling blossoms seeped through his clothing leaving pink, flower-shaped stains in their place as a tingling sensation drifted throughout his body.

Sakura drew a kunai in a flash, hoping the man were distracted but Jiraiya was just quick enough to disarm her. He sent her kunai flying away. He gripped her wrist and as she fought his hold he pulled her on top of his hard body.

"Good!" Jiraiya exclaimed looked up at Sakura. "Using cherry blossoms as a vessel to drain your enemies chakra before they even know you're a threat is a smart move. I'm thoroughly impressed." Sakura thrashed in his grip and tore away from him. She felt a hand wandering about her waist.

The man looked a little too comfortable as Sakura scrambled off of him.

"Very good cherry blossom," He smiled sitting up. "You surprised me." He admitted - Sakura wasn't so sure.

"I surprised myself." She said catching her bearings.

"I would wait however, to draw your weapons," He chuckled. "Tomorrow?" he offered lazily.

Sakura looked at the time on her watch and pursed her lips.

"Tomorrow."

* * *

As soon as it was safe to relax, Sakura collapsed into the comfort of her bed. She could pride herself on her focus but not necessarily her stamina and did not want Jiraiya to see just how much energy their training session had taken out of her out of fear he would call the whole affair off.

She'd reported back to Tsunade on the way home and had little energy to do anything other than have a quick shower.

Then it hit her. She was a fool.

She'd spent the whole day tirelessly searching for Naruto and pining for Jiraiya to help her. If Tsunade found out, she wasn't sure what the woman would do. She despised her former teammate, the sound of his name alone sent her into a foul-mouthed tirade and Sakura was beginning to feel it wasn't simply because of his perverted ways.

By the time she was ready, all of her teammates could be dead. Naruto, gone. Sasuke, dead.

Tears stung her eyes. She couldn't bury them.

She refused to.

Then she thought back to the way Jiraiya had touched her when he'd disarmed her. His fingers had danced along her skin like he wanted to possess every inch of her. She closed her eyes tightly to make the tears stop but they were in control, not she.

Shinobi made sacrifices for the greater good – she was a shinobi, was she not?

* * *

Jiraiya opened his front door to see who was visiting at that late hour.

"Sakura?" the man tiredly greeted her. His hair and clothes were dishevelled allowing his muscular chest to peak through visibly. "Well, I can't say I'm not surprised. It is rather late, can I help you?"

"Can I come in?" she chirped, hoping the man didn't already have company.

"You may." He said quietly standing to the side.

Sakura walked in and then turned to face the man, there was no easy way to put what she asked of him but when she did, he noticeably paled.

He lowered his voice and his agreeable manner was all but disappeared.

"That technique is forbidden for a reason. I know you are aware of that." He was ready to show her the door, but she was not ready to leave.

"I cannot be responsible for teaching you kinjutsu. It is illegal, not to mention it will corrupt your soul." Among other things, she was sure.

"Not if I only use it when I have to." He stopped, probing for the meaning behind her words. She watched as his eyes examined her closely.

"And when would you use it?" his voice was almost silent.

"When the time is right." She would give her life for Konoha.

"You know this would end your life as you know it?"

"Yes," She didn't hesitate. "I would end my life for my friends, for Konoha." She said tearing up.

When Sasuke had left, she hadn't been able to give him a reason to come back to her or even drag him back herself by force. She was no match for him then and she was no match for him now. How could she ever hope to be useful to Konoha when she watched from the side-lines as her teammates destroyed themselves?

Sakura sniffed, willing her tears not to show in front of Jiraiya. He'd already caught her crying once. "Please." She walked over to him until they were bare inches apart and then she wrapped her arms around him tightly, fearing he would reject her. "Please." She repeated. She felt him tentatively close his arms around her with sympathy and pat her back.

"Sakura?"

"I will do anything, I will give you anything." She said softly. Sakura looked up at the man in her arms and gazed at him with her shimmering green eyes.

"I won't tell anyone it was you." She whispered, her voice was hoarse. "I will give you myself in return, please."

The man's expression spoke of his shock and astonishment. He took Sakura's shoulders in his powerful grip and gawked at her.

"I won't take advantage of you, Sakura." His voice was shaky in lieu of her proposition but Sakura was determined and she had already decided.

She gently raked her hands through his long tresses and then settled her fingertips on his powerful back. She thought of what she asked but not of what she was becoming. She moaned into his chest. "If you do this one thing for me. I will give you everything, all of me."

He went silent, attempting to mask his heavy breath. Then his hand began drifting south and Sakura's whimpering ceased.

* * *

A/N: Intrigued? Leave a review! Until next time.


	2. History

**M Warning** for – Some bloody violence

* * *

Lay Me Down

* * *

Chapter 2: History

* * *

Jiraiya placed his team photo face down on the table for the first time.

Inside his bedroom he dropped to the floor and sat against the wall. As he closed his eyes he attempted to allow the crescendo of birds frolicking cheerfully in the sky outside to drone out his thoughts.

He sucked in a breath quietly and then cautiously turned his gaze to the sleeping girl snuggled comfortably within the warmth of the futon with his kimono draped around her waist. Inspecting her tear-stained cheeks he forced himself to look away and sit in the cold silence.

With daylight pouring in through the window Sakura began to stir. She moaned softly as she came around for her deep slumber. After a few hesitant shifts beneath the large duvet she frantically examined her body with her eyes and clumsy fingers to remind herself of the night before.

Her smooth pale skin remembered the warmth of large hands and caresses – much to Sakura's fear. When she noticed Jiraiya watching her patiently she inched closer to him on her hands and knees.

He averted his eyes at the sight of her loosely put together clothes. Sakura searched Jiraiya's expression but with his eyes cast down she could not come to any sound conclusion. Sakura reached down and found her underwear in the same place they'd been before she left for Jiraiya's home, between her legs. Hadn't he let it happen?

Unsure, she let her fingers slip further down.

"Jiraiya-san, I…" she breathed.

Jiraiya shook his head.

Still, he wouldn't face her. "You can leave," he began. "I won't follow you." Under the shadows the corner of the room granted him, Sakura could make out the light of dawn playing across his face as he struggled to smile. She could not bear to ponder on what he must think of her.

For a long moment Sakura reconsidered her appearance and her circumstances. If Jiraiya hadn't taken her offer, what did that leave her?

With all her strength Sakura rushed to her feet and immediately bolted for the door. She fumbled at the handle and as quickly as she was granted an exit she left the old Sannin's presence. The embarrassment was too much.

She could feel his hands on her still, inside of her and yet he couldn't face her.

Sakura arrived home heaving and crying without a care for her minimally dressed state. At least her basic ninja skills had granted her the ability to avoid the prospect of villagers seeing in her with barely any clothes to cover her modesty. However, as the cold air finally caught up with her she refused to believe she'd arrived at Jiraiya's home only wearing a bra, her underwear and a man's kimono.

It was his, she was sure. She tore it from her body instantly and went to shower her shame away. Even as the hiss of the shower stream came down on her the vivid memories of how she'd thrown herself at the self-proclaimed super-pervert last night would not cease.

Sakura tiredly cleaned her body with a wash cloth. She made a fist and banged on the shower wall, cracking it upon impact.

If he would not help her, so be it.

She would help herself.

* * *

Sakura made her way through the whole village before finally arriving at Naruto's house. The derelict building creaked and looked as though it hadn't been inhabited for months. She knocked on the door and without a shred of surprise she frowned.

With a single swoop she knocked the front door down and mentally cursed at the cheap foundations of the building.

She did pity him.

It wasn't his fault the nine-tails had attacked Konoha all those years ago. However, being the jinchuriki, many villagers could not see past their own grief once they'd lost their loves at the hand of the demon within him.

She sighed, perhaps she couldn't understand. After all, she'd been just a baby when it happened and had not been forced to see the horrors with her own eyes like so many else had.

When she was satisfied he could not be there she walked away from the compound and made a sharp turn back onto the main street that ran all throughout the village.

Soon she found Kakashi and Yamato sitting at breakfast stall and she wandered over to them.

"Good morning, Kakashi-sensei."

"Yo." The lazy Copy-ninja saluted her. The wooden hut was mainly quiet with a few Genin eating hurriedly, probably already late for practice at the academy. Yamato sat beside Kakashi eating happily.

"Good morning, Sakura." Yamato smiled.

"Yamato-sensei," Sakura greeted him. "Have either of you seen Naruto?" Yamato shook his head. Kakashi thought for a moment and then obliviously shrugged his shoulders.

"Come to think of it, I've not seen him in a while." Kakashi mentioned. Sakura nodded.

"He's missing." She blurted. She shouldn't worry anybody really. She knew Naruto could take care of himself when he really had to but it was so unlike him to disappear from not only his work at the academy but his social life as well.

Yamato seemed surprised. "Oh?" he appeared to consider what both Sakura and Kakashi had just said with fervent worry.

"Yes, he…" Sakura stopped. She spotted a mop of spiky blonde hair within a moving crowd of people in the distance quickly moving her way, or rather the border of Konoha.

The shocked expression on her face quickly alerted her teachers who got to their feet and turned to see what the commotion was about.

It was then that villagers and ninja alike erupted into a chaotic mass debate. Their hushed whispers and riotous questioning spoke of their confusion and concern as Naruto neared with his followers.

As people stepped back to alert each other of the scene, Sakura was able to catch a closer look. Behind Naruto followed Neji, Sai, Shino, Lee and Kiba who all wore identical uniforms. Beneath white cloaks with the Land of Snow's insignia on it she could make out their ninja uniforms and weapons – lots of them.

Rumours had sparked a month or two back that Sasuke had recently been spotted in the Land of Snow after killing Itachi.

The Land of Snow.

Sasuke.

Naruto.

He was going after him.

Sakura launched through the crowd with Kakashi and Yamato tow.

Kiba locked eyes with Sakura as she approached and tried to halt her.

"Don't Sakura, we're going to find Sasuke." He said firmly. She knew from his tone that they'd not sought the Hokage's permission. She'd already been witness to the woman forbidding them all from even considering trying to bring him back when he was clearly labelled as a 'missing-nin' in the Bingo Book.

Was this what Tsunade was so worried about? Had she known he was secretly plotting this?

Sakura pushed past Kiba, almost knocking him off his feet to block Naruto's way.

"Naruto! Don't do this!" Sakura exclaimed. She thought she'd had enough time but she could not let another teammate slip through her fingers. He couldn't meet her eyes as he stepped aside and ignored her.

This wasn't Naruto.

"Does Tsunade-sama know what you're doing?" she yelled at him. Naruto's sky blue eyes were cold and fixed on the ground.

Sakura grabbed the boy's collar and forces him to meet her eyes.

"She doesn't care about Sasuke, but I do. I'm bringing him back." Naruto spat. The anger in his eyes was fearsome.

She couldn't let this happen. "Naruto," she said slowly. "You don't have to do this. He isn't worth it. You don't have to do this."

"I made you a promise." He growled. He took her wrist and flung it. She could have sworn his sharp nails sliced through her skin. He stepped aside and proceeded onwards with his followers succeeding his every movement.

"Don't leave!" Sakura cried, she needed more time.

"I have to!" there was fury in his eyes and a darkness behind his voice. "I will find him and I will make this right." With his team assembled, there was nothing that could be said to the boy but Yamato tried anyway.

He implored Naruto's understanding followed by an empty promise that if he simply turned around and went home they would somehow convince the Hokage to go along with the plan.

Sakura refused to let this be her doing. Or rather lack of.

"But I love you!" she screamed. Gasps were abound before she realised the words had left her mouth and could not be taken back.

Naruto trembled and stared at her absorbedly. Something changed in his expression.

"I hate people who lie to themselves." He uttered angrily.

"Please Naruto. Don't go. He's not worth it." She pleaded.

"I made a promise." He repeated. In a flash he was gone. Kiba and the other young ninja quickly ran to catch up with Naruto.

Behind her tears Sakura heard Kakashi order three jounin standing by to follow them and bring them back by any means necessary. They rushed to the exit of Konoha to warn those that guarded it of the events that just transpired.

Sakura could feel panic rising within her as she looked for Naruto desperately.

Then she spotted the young Hyuuga heiress meekly avoiding her gaze. The lavender-haired girl bowed her head and edged away from the scene allowing her long fringe to hide her eyes.

She didn't…

Sakura marched over to Hinata who nervously watched as Sakura came over. She attempted to hide but Sakura refused to let her get away like Naruto had.

"You!" the timid girl shrieked. "You knew what he was planning!"

The Hyuuga shrunk behind the crowd of bystanders, desperate for their protection against Sakura.

"S-Sakura, I-"

A warm muscular arm wrapped around Sakura's chest and pulled her away from the girl swiftly. Jiraiya bent down to quietly speak into her ear. "Sakura, leave it alone."

Sakura froze.

"What?" she squealed at the realisation that he was here with her. Not only was she surprised to see him, but to see him defending the Hyuuga girl. Though, he was not interested in the frightened girl and as she quickly ran off to safety Jiraiya gazed down at Sakura and said nothing more.

Had he known too?

She couldn't even think to ask as he whisked Sakura away from the scene.

Yamato took off with Kakashi in the direction of Tsunade's office to alert her of Naruto's movements. They prepared themselves knowing the woman's temper could flare at any moment and in her rage they'd likely be blamed for not keeping better watch of the boy.

But there had been enough betrayals of the ninja code within the last few minutes and the two jounin knew very well that it would be in their favour later to request Tsunade's order if they were going to have any chance of her being on their side.

They stormed through the Hokage's office and heard her yelp in frustration and annoyance. A bottle of alcohol rolled off the table and Tsunade scrambled to catch it.

"Hey!" the woman roared. "What do you think you're doing in here?"

Her secretary trailed behind, apologising profusely for the intrusion but upon observing the worry of the jounin she declined to remove them from the office.

"Naruto is trying to leave the village to find Sasuke." Yamato quickly explained.

"He's what!" the woman boomed standing sharply. Her voice rattled the entire room. Brimming with fury she snapped at her secretary, yelling for her to unite the council of Konoha to meet immediately.

The woman immediately left the office, sliding past Yamato and Kakashi.

Tsunade's severe and sharp inhales alerted Yamato. He rushed over to her as she began to hyperventilate and helped her back to her seat before she shooed him shooed him away and made a pained look.

Though Tsunade had a penchant for losing her temper and flying through fits of rage on a regular basis, Kakashi observed the peculiar nature of her fit.

"He took Neji, Kiba, Sai, Lee and Shino with him," Yamato added. "They're all gone."

Tsunade managed to calm herself down, clenching her fists tightly.

"Take a team of jounin with you, at least ten. I want you to bring him back, kicking and screaming – I don't give a shit. That boy isn't going to get himself killed for that Uchiha." Tsunade's brows knitted together.

"Yes, Tsunade-sama." Yamato replied backing away and bowing. He waited for Kakashi.

"What about the others?" Kakashi asked.

"Naruto is the village's main priority. Itachi may be dead but the akatsuki is still at large. We cannot let them get their hands on the nine-tails. Bring the others back too and straight to me."

The two ninja made haste, bowed and made their exit.

Tsunade snagged the bottle of whisky on her desk and then crushed it in her grasp. Shards of glass exploded around her fist.

"You stupid boy." Tsunade hissed.

* * *

Jiraiya half-carried, half-dragged Sakura away from the scene and to his home as she muttered and cried.

"He has made his choice. You cannot convince him otherwise." Jiraiya said giving in to his better judgement. He patted Sakura on the back as he walked her through his front door.

He worried for her.

"I don't want his death on my hands." She was hunched over, leaning on Jiraiya for support. To hell with her embarrassment, Naruto could be dead by Sasuke's sword at any moment and it would be her fault because she couldn't keep a hold of her teammates.

"Why does everyone keep leaving me?" she cried. "Why can't I stop them?" she peered up at Jiraiya.

He hushed her and held her close to him.

"Jiraiya-san?"

He hushed her again and closed the door behind them.

* * *

Jiraiya woke sometime in the middle of the night. The blue moonlight flooded his bedroom and willed him to return to his slumber. He dropped his head onto the fluffy pillow beneath him and then witnessed as Sakura wiggled closer to him under his arm.

With one of her legs hanging over his torso and a hand on his chest she breathed slowly and appeared content in her sleep.

He stared for at her for a while, soaking in her pure beauty. Her pink locks just reached her shoulders now and gave her pale skin a feathery glow. With his eyes fixed on the woman in his arms, Sakura began to wake, feeling something was amiss.

She tiredly yawned but when the day's events rapidly came back to her, Sakura began to agonise wistfully over her transgressions. She jumped out of Jiraiya's arms and moved hurriedly, her legs kicking and her body twisting.

Jiraiya was forced to hold her down.

She murmured Naruto's name tearfully and then shouted for Sasuke to stop what he was doing. Her beautiful face was full of fear.

Jiraiya softened his grip on the girl and hovered over, protecting her with his strength. "It's alright, it will be alright." He said whispering by her ear.

When she stopped moving finally she began to drift off into sleep once more, sighing under her breath for Kakashi to help her separate her teammates and stop them from destroying each other.

Her words plunged him right back into his youth with a vibrant young Tsunade yelling at him for challenging Orochimaru's power.

Jiraiya felt compelled to kiss her frown and so he did. It faded with his gentle touch.

Hiruzen sat on the field ground that cool summer's day shaking his head at his young students, unimpressed by their quarrelling but unsure of what to say to make the situation alright. Orochimaru had growled at Jiraiya with such malice.

Jiraiya waited patiently and when Sakura was still and surely sleeping again he gradually untangled her fingers that clung desperately to his clothes.

He looked at her one last time putting his red overcoat on and slipping out of bed. Then he stood and sighed.

He gently closed the door behind him and left home for Hokage tower to see an old friend.

* * *

"It's happening again," Tsunade said taking a swig from her bottle. Jiraiya wondered just how many bottles Tsunade was putting away nowadays but tried to ignore the thought. "Who would've thought that we didn't learn our lesson?"

Jiraiya took a seat in front of the Hokage's desk and watched as his former teammate sat on the windowsill.

"It wasn't our choice, it was his." Jiraiya corrected her.

Tsunade closed her eyes. "I can't have another death on my hands," She managed to say. She bit her lip. "There will be so much blood." Tsunade held a shaky hand up to bask in the moonlight and then hiccupped.

Jiraiya got up and walked over to the blonde woman and pulled her towards him. He took the bottle from her hand and set it on the table out of her reach. He stood, inhaling her scent like he had so many years ago.

She softened against his familiar embrace and then screamed.

"Get off me!" she pushed the man sending him stumbling back. "This is your fault."

"My fault!"

"You didn't stop him, just like you didn't stop Orochi-"

"Don't you dare say his name." Jiraiya growled. He narrowed his eyes and his jaw clenched. "Don't you dare."

"He left because of you." Tsunade spat.

Jiraiya shook Tsunade by her shoulders as if to shock the truth into her.

"No, he left because he is a monster."

The memories never left Jiraiya. Even though it had been years since he'd last been able to track down the missing-nin, the images were fresh in his mind.

He could remember them all from the time he found the undeniable proof that Orochimaru was the perpetrator of the missing children from the village to the numerous occasions where he'd watched in shock and horror at Orochimaru digging through corpses with glee on their missions together.

No, he would not be blamed for Orochimaru's immorality.

"You think you can just waltz in here and take advantage of me…" Tsunade's voice broke his train of thought.

"Take advantage of you!" Jiraiya shouted disgustedly.

"You heard me," she began. She stepped towards her bottle of whisky and snatched it up. Jiraiya could not stop her in time. She cradled it in her arms. "You took advantage of me! I was mourning - I never wanted you! I wanted my Dan – my Dan. And you crawled under my skin like the worm you are. You never could take no for a hint."

Jiraiya felt his blood boil.

" _You_ begged me to take you on the floor. _You_ begged me, on your knees, crying your eyes out. _You_ begged me to fuck you with his picture in the room after his funeral. His eyes were on you. His clothes were on your bed. We fucked on top of him. _You_ wanted that."

Tsunade stumbled on her feet.

"Stop!" she squeaked covering her ears. Her pained expression made him regret his words suddenly, but he refused to have her think that he had been alone in what they did.

Once more he took her in his arms, comforting her like he knew a good teammate should. He took the bottle of whisky from her once more and threw it at the corner of the room.

Even as she swore at him and hit him with her massive strength, he simply sat his chin on top of her head and wouldn't let go of her. He loved his teammate like no one else could and he could not be made to feel guilt for that.

"You're a bastard." She swore, finally giving in.

"I know."

"I hate you." She persisted and sniffled. Tears? He'd not seen her cry for years and he couldn't bring himself to look at them.

"I'm well aware." Tsunade cried into the man's arms all night long until they dried, he tore himself from her and he departed like he always did.

* * *

"I am so alone." Sakura said to herself.

She woke up in a daze, finding herself on the futon she'd escaped just yesterday morning after Jiraiya had rejected her. She found her feet and wandered into his bathroom.

The light blinded her as she swatted the switch on the wall. Then she came face to face with her haggard reflection in the large mirror hanging from the wall. Sakura shied away from the picture as though the mirror might capture it and keep it.

Had she really been crying all night? She touched her cheeks – damp and clammy. How could she have ever expected Jiraiya to be enticed by her offer? He may be a pervert, but as perverts went she was sure he had some kind of standard.

When she heard the front door open she listened to Jiraiya's heavy footsteps coming towards her. Now that he'd babied her twice he would certainly tell her she'd overstayed her welcome.

Jiraiya approached the young kunoichi and kneeled before her. Her sniffling was pitiful. He knew she wished to help her teammates, but in her current condition, he wasn't sure that she had the mental capacity to confront either of them.

Jiraiya held her chin in his fingertips and took her lips with his. Sakura froze, her emerald eyes sparkled anxiously.

Sakura looked at Jiraiya with shock as he pulled away. Did this mean he was going to take her offer?

"I will train you, but I will not kill you." He answered instinctively. "We will bring Naruto back. Don't you worry." He fixed his horned forehead protector and smiled lightly.

"Kakashi and Yamato are leading their squads to track Naruto down. They will bring him and the others home." He was confident.

Sakura nodded hesitantly, hoping he would be right. She clenched her fists.

Jiraiya grabbed Sakura's arm and helped her up. She staggered but trusted Jiraiya to help her.

"We will resume your training." He said, gazing at her.

"I thought you said you wouldn't teach me kinjutsu?" she said wide-eyed. Jiraiya swallowed. She looked so young before him. And helpless.

"I did and I stand by what I said." He replied. "I will teach you some powerful techniques but you must not get distracted when I do – they are dangerous. Do you understand?"

"Yes sensei."

Jiraiya ran a hand through his hair and then he started to walk away. Sakura followed him nimbly.

He went into the kitchen, opening up barely full cupboards and draws. Sakura frowned.

"Aren't we going to train?"

"You must eat first."

In an odd but soothing silence Jiraiya put together a simple meal for both Sakura and himself. It was bizarre watching the Sannin cooking at the stove but the waft of hot steaming rice and vegetables was comforting to say the least. Sakura couldn't remember the last time she'd eaten after all.

Jiraiya took Sakura into the next room and sat with her at the table.

The two ate in peace. A steaming pot of tea sat between them and though the smell was strong, Sakura quickly found herself becoming accustomed to it.

When Sakura took a pause from her meal she looked at Jiraiya and he looked away, time and time again. She thought back to how her reflection had scared her just before he returned home.

"I'm sorry about what happened the other day," Sakura began swallowing nervously. "I just…"

Jiraiya gawked at her, uncertain of himself.

"Jiraiya-san. Say something." She was desperate, the silence was so painfully embarrassing.

Suddenly, he seemed amused as a small smirk graced his lips. "You're so polite." He mused.

"Do I disgust you?" she inquired abruptly. Jiraiya almost choked. He placed his bowl on the table in that instant

"What?" he looked her up and down. "Of course not."

"You're…" his eyes lingered on her lips.

"I'm?" Sakura said.

Sakura had the fortune of being adequately comfortable in her own skin when it came to attraction but that didn't excuse the niggling fear that somehow she came up short. She couldn't really blame Jiraiya if she wasn't what he wanted, even if just for a night.

"Am I that ugly?" she asked.

"You are not ugly." He said firmly, he looked angry for a second.

"Do I look like a child to you?" she wondered, doubting her womanly assets. Sure, there was nothing wrong with her but there wasn't exactly anything striking about her looks other than her curse of pink hair.

"No. You don't." Jiraiya was frowning now.

"Then why can't you trust me to know what I'm doing?"

He turned his attention back to his bowl of rice but it wasn't as interesting as she was. "We don't need to have this conversation," He huffed. "Finish your food and then we will leave."

Sakura ate her food a little more passionately after that. She needed a clear head if she was going to get her team back together. Whatever the shinobi had in store for her would surely push her to her limits.

* * *

When they were finally finished for the day, the night quickly approached. Her body was covered in deep bruising from his assaults but she'd taken them without complaint and told him she could keep going, until she collapsed that was and Jiraiya had had to carry her back to her home.

Her legs twitched in his arms as she tried to have him unhand her.

"This is unnecessary, you don't need to carry me." She said. Jiraiya ignored her and only dropped her when they came to her small apartment. She unlocked the door and then hesitated.

He motioned her in and then followed behind.

"I'm just making sure you're okay." He said. Sakura nodded.

He hadn't so much as broken a sweat from their sparring session but admittedly she hadn't been on top of her game with so many distractions running through her mind. Every time they made contact she'd paused, wondering if she should simply attack or wait to see what he'd do with her under him.

She led the way into her bedroom. It was cramped with books, healing scrolls she had yet to study and half-eaten bowls of food.

Not embarrassing at all.

Sakura made a space for Jiraiya and let him sit on her bed. She forced her legs to stop staggering. "I'm fine now, but thank you. You can go."

"Go have a shower, you will better after you have had one," he said trying to get comfortable. He kicked his feet up and continued. "I will wait."

When Sakura was done in the bathroom she was surprised to see him still there patiently waiting with his arms crossed. The quiet had made her naturally assume he'd make his way off while she washed and dressed herself.

As he spotted her he looked unsure of himself and his surroundings. He dwarfed her single bed sitting there with his arms crossed and his head back against the wall.

Sakura finished drying her hair in a towel and then sighed softly. Jiraiya could not help but to stare.

"Could I have done something?" she started. "To make him stay?"

He blinked uninterestedly. "Come here." Jiraiya beckoning her. She found her feet drag her over to him warily.

"Here." He said patting his lap. She didn't question him and wrapped her thighs around his hips.

"I don't understand you." She whispered hanging her head low.

"I can't say I do either." He chuckled, his smile quickly disappeared making Sakura frown. She desperately wanted to read his mind, know what he thought of her.

"Will you stay?" she chirped.

"I will." He said definitely.

She thought of Naruto again as they desperately tried to find comfort in each other's embrace upon her tiny bed.

He played with the tendrils framing her face. Her doe eyes were almost childish.

"Why did you stay?"

"Because I don't want you to blame yourself for everything that happens." He answered smoothly.

She sighed. "It's hard not to."

"I know. Believe me, I know."

She stayed still whilst his hand wandered down her back. She moaned when he lightly squeezed her bottom, holding her close to him. Then his hand traced her front.

"I'm not a virgin."

He stopped at the hem of her underwear, peeling his fingers away and then closed his eyes tightly. "You don't know what you're saying."

"I think I'd know." she corrected him firmly. He continued cautiously, dragging his heavy hands along her body. Sakura watched keenly as got on top of her and bent down to kiss her exposed hipbone.

Sakura squirmed at his touch, uncertain of the feeling.

"No more." Jiraiya said straightening out his clothes. He looked away.

Sakura stared wantonly at him. "I didn't want you to stop." She said.

"Go to sleep."

He fell back into her arms and turned off the lamp next to Sakura's bed letting the darkness roll in. Their shadow was cast on the ceiling above them uniting their bodies.

Sakura closed her eyes and tried to sleep but it would not come to her. She groaned internally at the many bruises throbbing against her skin. If Jiraiya thought she couldn't handle it, he wouldn't continue with her lessons so she had be strong.

Jiraiya tensed when he felt Sakura's fingertips on the thick star shaped scar in the middle of his chest. She didn't need to be thinking of this right now but he accepted her stubborn nature.

She used the moonlight to study him closely and traced the scar with care. When she stopped he hoped she'd fallen asleep.

"Will you tell me about him?" she suddenly asked.

He turned to face her. "Who?"

She was hesitant to say the betrayer's name but Jiraiya stared at her quizzically.

"Orochimaru…"

"I don't know what to say." Jiraiya said exhaling.

"Did you ever get along?"

He thought for a long time. "No."

"Did you try to?"

"There was nothing I could have said, or done, to make him tolerate me."

"What about Lady Tsunade?"

Jiraiya stiffened.

"What about her?"

"Did they get along?" she inquired.

He said no. "He didn't like anybody. Ever."

"He suffered a lot," His face softened as he remembered. "His parents died when he was young. He saw a lot during the wars." His long history came to prompt Sakura of the old shinobi's age but she didn't pull away.

"So did you," She reminded him. "And you're not like him."

"Go to sleep, Sakura." Jiraiya turned, bent over and kissed Sakura's forehead much to her surprise. His tenderness was comforting.

Sakura crawled on top of him and ran her hands down his chest.

"We have to stop this." But he didn't, he continued to touch her running his hands down her back and she continued to respond grinding into him.

"I don't want to stop."

"We can't."

"Stop rejecting me. Don't make me beg." She said quietly.

"I can't." he said sitting up. He held her in his arms and stared at her face to face.

There were smile lines at the corner of his lips but his deep brown eyes were exhausted. Sakura had never really taken the time to appreciate what he looked like up close but she could say that he was reasonably handsome.

"Why? Tell me why." She pressed. She ground her hips into him.

"Because I want more…more than just this." He looked down to where his body strained to meet hers.

"More?" Sakura asked looking down at her body, inspecting herself with a scrutiny, but this wasn't about her shortcomings. It was about him, something he wasn't telling her. "Tell me what you want me to do for you and I will do it."

"You wouldn't understand." He sighed. Jiraiya suppressed a moan and tried to push Sakura away but she refused to budge.

"Don't do that," she snapped. "Don't you do that to me. Tell me." She was cross now with her pursed lips but Jiraiya saw only her delicate beauty.

Sakura cupped his face in her hand, trying to make him look at her but he couldn't.

"I've had enough of meaningless sex," He met her eyes suddenly. "I want more than that. I don't want…" he trailed off and then his eyes widened at the sound of his words.

"I don't want to... I don't know why I'm telling you this." Shame painted his face.

And then something came over him. "I don't want every encounter I have to end with going to bed together and then waking up alone."

"Maybe I'm asking you for too much. You don't have to care for me, just pretend. So I have something to look forward to when I come home. I don't want to be alone anymore."

It was Sakura who pulled away then.

In shock or in horror, neither of them were sure.

Sakura's whole body tightened. She unmounted him and closed her legs to shield herself from the Sannin.

She was afraid to look him. "I…"

Sakura hadn't thought about entering a relationship since Sasuke left the village years ago in search for his brother taking her dreams of a happy family with him. There had never been another man to cross her mind within that time.

She couldn't fathom the idea that there were men out there like Jiraiya who wanted the same things she did. To not feel as though she was only worth one night. To want a companion who could share in all of life's adventures.

"I'm used to being rejected Sakura," Jiraiya broke the unnerving silence hanging his head in shame. "I promise I won't hold it against you." The creases beside his eyes deepened. He sat with his powerful body hunched over and his clothes hanging from him just barely.

Sakura went to protest.

"You're young, you don't need to waste your time pitying me," Jiraiya said looking up slowly. "Though, the thought of us together, if only for a little while was nice, I must admit."

He smiled and got up to leave – savouring the memory in his mind as he turned away from the kunoichi.

"No!" she grabbed him with her unmatched strength and forced him back over to the bed. He seemed shocked by her request but stayed as she demanded.

Sakura took one of his hands in hers. "You don't want me, you just don't want to be lonely too."

"Is that not enough?"

In that moment she wondered how young the women who entertained Jiraiya were. But perhaps it didn't matter – she was one of a kind, good or bad she didn't need anybody to tell her that. After all, she'd been the first person Tsunade had taken under her wing since Shizune.

That must have spoken for something. Though perhaps not in the way she wanted it too.

The Sannin woman was a cold, no nonsense kind of leader, she must have seen something in Sakura she thought was special. She would never otherwise waste her time.

He pushed Sakura down gently onto her bed as though he were making sure to give himself enough time to think better of what he was doing and back away.

She relished in the attention he gave her. Never had a man like Jiraiya shown her such specific interest. She'd come to dismiss Naruto and Lee's 'love' as immature crushes as she could not be dependent on a boy's petty idea of love for the rest of her life.

She'd spurned Genma's advances too, on numerous occasions and when he'd realised he would not be able to get what he wanted out of her he simply moved onto Ino who was more than happy to play the part.

Like Jiraiya said, she needed something…more.

"Sakura, I want you to stay here."

"Huh?" she answered.

Way to ruin the moment.

Jiraiya's eyes were burning with lust and warning but he fought the temptation to unclothe her and take her right there and then.

"I will bring him back," he murmured against her shoulder. His short white stubble was coming in, scratching her lightly. "But I want you to stay here, where it's safe."

Had there training together been a pitiful attempt to keep her quiet?

"Stop telling me what to do."

"You're so stubborn…" he whispered.

"And you're overbearing," she huffed. "That wasn't our agreement."

"Sakura," he looked apologetic. "I _will_ bring Naruto back."

Sakura lulled her head to the side and frowned, wanting only to focus on the feel of the man's lips against her stomach as he moved down.

"You are a virgin, aren't you?" it wasn't a question, her reaction said it all. "You shouldn't lie to me. I don't want you to get hurt."

He waited for her confession but she refused to give one. She wouldn't look at him, disappointed with herself.

"That doesn't mean I don't want you. Kami, I do." His voice was low and sensual.

"Then take me." Sakura thrusted her hips up at the man, her body clearly asked him to give her what she desired. She was so beautiful, he thought looking up at her. Like an angel in bed waiting for the slightest touch.

Jiraiya wishfully obliged.

* * *

Hours later Sakura searched through Jiraiya's pocket. She needed to be quick.

When her fingers found cool metal she seized his keys in her palm and then checked to see if he was still asleep. She found herself by his side again and kiss the man's cheek tenderly.

In just days he'd given her more than she could ever imagined. New skills to push through, further her mental strength to bring her teammates back home - understanding when she could take no more despite her claims that she could.

She wouldn't cry again. When Jiraiya found out what she'd done he would have to discard her, but she wouldn't blame him.

To think she actually felt loved by him when they laid together. Perhaps he was right, maybe it wasn't him. Maybe she just hadn't realised how lonely she'd felt all these years.

Sakura got up gradually, slipped on her uniform and retrieved all the weapons she thought she might need. She closed the door behind her and made her way to Jiraiya's home.

She entered the empty house and immediately went over to his bookshelf. There was a colourful array of reading books: some scholarly; a few were romantic and an entire row was dedicated to ninja studies (old and new). She remarked how this section was easily twice the size of the other topics put together to her surprise.

Under the shelf there was a black box hidden by the junction of the wall. Sakura took it and raised an eyebrow. Upon inspection she realised it was covered in tiny jutsu seals that she could barely make out.

Sakura whispered a long mantra beside the box to see if it would open but it remained tightly sealed. The box was made from worn black leather and had a rusty buckle on the front surface.

Sakura put the box into her backpack and closed it. She really couldn't afford to waste any more time.

* * *

For too long had he gotten away with breaking her resolve. Tsunade rubbed her shaky arm and angrily watched as her reflection fell apart in front of her. She lived alone at Hokage tower and so there was nobody to comfort or hold her.

Nobody to help her through her tantrums and make her put the drink down. If Dan were still alive, he surely would have.

There had even been times where she found herself mistaking her reflection in the floor mirror against her wall for company, wide-eyed at the prospect of not having to spend another night by herself.

Her pallid skin forced her eyes to retreat into her skull. The jutsu that for years had slowed the aging process was again beginning to wear. Fine wrinkles started to appear and her body became hunched over as it gave into nature.

She used the technique for the first time at the bitter age of thirty-five one later night taught by a high-classed courtesan she met in a bustling casino. She'd trusted her. To be told that the woman was really in her seventies and yet looked to be in her forties was enough persuasion that cold lonely day.

Tsunade's mascara stained her cheeks were splotchy and grey. She would make him pay for what he'd done to her.

Every time he left he took another piece of her with him.

No longer.

* * *

"The Hokage will murder us when we return." Kiba said resentfully under his breath.

He feared if Naruto heard him complain again then he would be forced to face his wrath. Naruto had never acted like this before but when he'd come to him and the others weeks back he knew that the boy's patience had worn thin.

Sasuke had been gone for years now leaving villagers terrorised wherever he went. At the very least, he needed to be stopped if not brought to face justice.

He tried to keep on the fox-boy's tail but even Neji and Sai could not keep up with him. Lee too had voiced his worries about disobeying the Hokage's orders only to be shot down by Naruto who claimed his worries were a weakness that would not bring back nor keep his promise to Sakura.

After that Lee kept his uneasiness to himself, frightened of Naruto's new unyielding motivations.

He too wanted to make Sakura happy and have Sasuke face the council for his betrayals. He hoped that if the team were successful Tsunade would look the other way, just this once, for bringing the Uchiha straight to her.

Somewhere along the way Shino stopped to catch his breath. Neji looked back, if the team did not stay together when they found the Uchiha, they would have no chance of bringing him back.

They'd been running through the forest outside of Konoha for half an hour at top speed as a search party closely followed. "Naruto! Wait!" Neji yelled. The Hyuuga tried to reach Naruto but he was too far ahead.

"Naruto, watch out!" Neji shouted. A shower of kunai ripped through the sky, aimed for Naruto to stop him in his tracks. The search party of jounin had finally caught up.

A sizzling flash of light incinerated the daggers. Naruto's body glowed and five fiery tails emerged from his body, whipping and twirling in wind.

Naruto halted and snarled at the jounin as they surrounded him. They turned worriedly to Kakashi who led them, waiting for his order. They didn't want to hurt him.

The Copy Ninja stood forwards. "Naruto, stop right there," he said. "We've been ordered to bring you back to Konoha."

"Over my dead body." Kakashi recoiled. Naruto's voice was not his own. Kurama lingered behind his words, threatening to emerge and take over entirely. The elite shinobi tightened their grip on their weapons at the beast's threat.

"Naruto, we can negotiate with Tsunade-sama. If you come back now then she will not punish you." Yamato added hopefully.

The boys watched and kept their distance from the scene.

Sakura watched the drama unfolding from above, hidden within the treetops. Thinking back to how Tsunade had said Naruto trusted her, she wondered if the sound of her voice could get past Kurama and reach Naruto. Could she reason with him somehow?

Telling him she loved him hadn't worked. It just sort of slipped out. But it had to be love. She wouldn't be so concerned for his wellbeing if she didn't love him like she did. Perhaps it had taken her too long to realise that.

"Sakura!" Naruto roared staring her straight in the eyes. Everyone looked up.

Naruto sent a bolt of red light surging towards the tree cutting a hole straight through the thick trunk. It groaned and then began falling rapidly. Sakura gasped and scaled the top branches, jumping down into the clearing to avoid being trapped under the heavy bushes.

This wasn't Naruto!

What happened to the young blonde boy who hadn't a care in the world and would die before he hurt her?

The jounin stood motionless. Yamato yelled for Sakura, telling her to get far away from Naruto whose body was beginning to glow with red and yellow flames encircling his body. The air around him rumbled and thrashed the trees making them creak.

"Naruto!" she cried.

Naruto snarled, his canine teeth were sharp and visibly pointed. He held his hand out to Sakura and beckoned her forwards. Then another bright ball of energy surfaced in his hand, he aimed it straight at her.

A great explosion followed but Sakura's eyes were screwed tight. Jiraiya fended off the beast, shielding Sakura from its fury. Peaking past the chakra shield he'd created, Sakura saw a sight she would never forget. Naruto was on his hands and knees, five luminous tails flailing in the air menacingly.

The monster's growl thundered through the forest. Kakashi yelled for the jounin to restrain Naruto before he killed someone but they were at a loss as all five tails attack them simultaneously.

One of the beast's fiery tails whipped Jiraiya's ankle making blood spurt across the grassy floor. Kakashi and his crew of jounin sent a wave of kunai and ninjutsu to subdue the blazing monster in an attempt to protect every nearby village and town.

With Kurama besieged by blasts of chakra, Sakura pulled Jiraiya away to safety into the thicket bushes, away from the fight.

Jiraiya groaned as she pulled him along. From her quick inspection, the monster had just sliced through the man's tendons behind his foot. "Jiraiya-san! Jiraiya-san!" Sakura shook him to keep focussed as they took off.

The roar of Kurama was still nearby.

Jiraiya fell to the ground and rolled on his back. His pained face looked up at Sakura. Slowly his eyes met hers.

"Hmm…pretty lady saved…my life." He croaked smiling. A small trickle of blood dribbled out of the corner of his mouth. Sakura quickly observed a wound on his shoulder and on his stomach, charred slightly by Naruto's attack. She stopped the bleeding by healing the outer layer of skin around the lacerations and bit her lip.

"You stupid man."

Producing a quick hand-sign, Sakura half-carried the large man using her chakra enhanced strength. She needed to get him out of there quick. A wounded growl from Kurama violently shook the trees, threatening to make them tumble down.

She dragged the man away. They came to a neighbouring town, populated by very few people.

"Just hold on a little longer, Jiraiya-san," Sakura said comfortingly. "I will find you somewhere to rest."

She stopped, calculating her next move. Hidden behind a casino and small grocery shop she could make out the words 'Hotel Inn' on a tall yellow building.

Sakura hauled Jiraiya over, thankful for the fact that those who were around in this little town were hardly interested in them despite their shinobi attire.

They entered the dimly lit vicinity and immediately went up to the front desk.

"I need a room please." Sakura said, she dug around in her bag for some money to speed up the process of checking in. The woman behind the desk cocked her head and her eyes darted between Jiraiya and Sakura curiously before she spun around to the wall of keys behind her and picked one at random.

The woman held the key firmly in her grasp and hesitated. She gazed at Sakura, "Are you two…"

This really wasn't the time for that.

"That's private, thank you. A room please. Any." Sakura's shrill voice was hurried as she once again felt Jiraiya's weight sagging against her. He was holding up well but she needed to check the height of his injuries quickly.

With an injury caused by the nine-tails, she didn't know what to expect so it was safest to expect the worst as Tsunade always taught her.

The woman handed Sakura they key and Sakura some money on the desk and quickly moved off to her designated room with Jiraiya.

The hotel worker's expression when she'd seen Jiraiya and Sakura together stuck in her mind. Could it be that she'd met Jiraiya before? He didn't seem fazed however as he groaned again in pain. She took him up to the room and immediately helped him onto the bed. He cried out.

"Okay, now you're just being dramatic." Sakura said exhaling finally. She put her hands on her hips and watched as Jiraiya sprawled out on the bed. She dropped her backpack on the floor.

Jiraiya cracked a smile. "How did you guess?" Jiraiya's smile swiftly faded as pain soared through him. His face twisted in pain. Sakura jumped. She dug through her bag to find something that would ease his pain whilst she examined the extent of his injuries.

She gave him a slight sedative, one thing she always packed in her medical kit among other things as advised by Tsunade.

There was only one thing harder than healing a patient and that was healing a screaming, hysterical patient.

Sakura crouched down out of sight and concealed her the box poking out of the top of her bag. She frowned hoping he would not kill her when he found out. If she returned it before he knew it was missing she would be in the clear.

Luckily, Jiraiya was happily preoccupied. He stared at the ceiling tracing the gaudy patterns with a hovering finger and a melodious throaty chuckle. The pain killers were quickly taking effect, replacing his pain with dreamy cheer.

"Why?" after some moments Jiraiya stopped his wistful tittering and titled his towards the girl who'd pulled him to safety – and put him in that situation. "Why did you come for me?" she asked.

He blinked and inhaled deeply. For a moment Sakura thought he'd fallen asleep so she peered over his bedside. "I didn't want our time together to be the last," He said. "You shouldn't have come here."

"You could have died," she started quietly. "Naruto's losing control over the nine-tails. You shouldn't have come for me." She thought suddenly about the red glint she seen in Naruto's eyes. Kurama's strength was unrivalled and she had never looked at Naruto before and had to ask who he was.

"You were worried for me?" Jiraiya beamed closing his eyes as though he could die a happy man right there and then. Sakura rushed to support his head with a pillow. "That's nice."

He leaned back looking up dreamily, and then flashed a toothy grin. "Though, you only say that because I was your first-" Sakura gasped and hit the man hard. His expression spoke of his pride in that thought, Sakura blushed profusely. "Ouch!"

She didn't want to talk about it. She brushed a pink curl behind her ear and out of her face.

He choked a little but the blood on his lip was beginning to dry. "Don't assume my feelings, _Jiraiya_."

His smile faded. "Hey, hey! Where did your gracious manners go?"

Sakura turned her attention back to Jiraiya's ankle. She slipped his shoe off to get a better look and paled at the charred skin that surrounded the deep bloody gash. It was bleeding all over the bed.

She let her hands hover over the wound about an inch to heal it. A green fuzzy halo hummed around her fingertips. She moved onto the wound on his stomach and shoulder and did the same. It would take much longer than the time she had to completely heal the wounds but her best bet was to make sure that he didn't lose any more blood and to patch together whatever tissue would save his tendons.

"Wow…" Sakura murmured, her fingertips were shiny and red with his blood.

"Hmm?" Jiraiya lifted his to watch her.

"Huh? I'm just surprised to see how quickly you're healing." She took a cloth from her medicine pouch and wiped her hands clean.

The old man laughed.

She had a hunch. She pursed her lips and asked, "Did you just act like you were in pain to get me here?" She was confident Jiraiya had had worse injuries than this before. She'd seen him in hospital a few times with Shizune healing him after training sessions with Naruto, but perhaps the boy hadn't lost control like this before.

Jiraiya wiggled his feet. "I wasn't originally planning on it. Just sort of happened." He replied casually.

He was the opportunist apparently, not her.

She reminded herself that she was in a room alone with the Sannin much like she had been for the past few days. Never in a million years would she have ever believed that she would entertain his company just a week ago.

Tsunade never spoke friendly of the man and when she rarely saw him he always seemed to be more concerned with chasing women than fighting than training. For a man with such an impressive title, he certainly hadn't earnt her respect.

She wondered if what she saw of him in the last couple of days was really who he was.

The feel of his hand on her thigh snapped her out of her daydream. Warmth radiated through her from his touch. He'd been there for her when she needed somebody, in more ways than one.

"Hmm…I wonder if this hotel has a mini-bar. Could you check?" Jiraiya smiled eagerly.

"This isn't really the time to be making jokes." She couldn't help but giggle.

"Who was joking?" Jiraiya was always so cheerful, she didn't know how he could do it. She couldn't fathom the horrors she knew he'd seen when he was a young ninja. From his legendary fight with the deadly Hanzo to fighting the nine-tails on the day of Naruto's birth.

As Jiraiya reached forwards to hold her hand she wondered how many men he'd killed with his bare hands. Whether the force of his grip had produced sounds similar from his enemies to the ones she'd made in bed with him last night.

"Is something wrong?" he flashed her another charming smile.

He was very calm considering she'd done the opposite of what he told her to do. Stay in Konoha, stay safe and be ready to help Tsunade sort the situation out with the council. What was worse was that in desperation to prove herself she hadn't even been able to stop Naruto from further destroying himself.

He was still wearing the exact same clothes he had when she left him in her house. Had he come straight for her?

She froze.

"Hey," Jiraiya tapped her hand. He was still smiling. "How's that mini-bar coming along?"

"You're so romantic." She joked. It wouldn't do any good to further complain about what had happened. Jiraiya seemed to have forgiven her anyway.

He made a low rumbling sound as Sakura laid down beside him.

"Just because I love women, doesn't mean they love me back." Sakura could only frown.

"Good," she started, turning to hold him. "So I can have you all to myself." Sakura put her hand on his chest and listened to his heartbeat. Jiraiya placed his hand on top of hers. Sakura wondered what it would be like to stay here, like this, forever.

Then he gripped her wrist and made her face him. "What is it?" Sakura was confused. "Do you need more painkillers?" she went to get some for him but Jiraiya just stared.

His countenance was calm and the serene look in his eyes was alluring. Sakura felt as though she were under scrutiny. Slowly, Jiraiya sat up. Sakura nervously looked down. She had been sweating bringing him up the stairs. Her pink hair clung to her clammy skin and yet he was looking at her with _those_ eyes.

"When I told you I wanted more, I meant it," he took her hand in his again. "I want you. I want to be with you."

"What about-"

"Forget what I said before." He reached for her face with his fingertips. Sakura closed her eyes and waited for his lips to touch hers as she leaned forwards. He was so soft.

A woman's helpless shriek was followed by a loud thud on the ground floor. Then their hotel room's door flew open and cracked as it hit the wall and unhinged.

Sakura yelped. When she saw her teammate glaring at her from the doorway, panting, clothes ripped and bloody, she gawked at him.

Had he seen?

The raging flames in his eyes said it all.

* * *

 _A/N_ _:_ (dramatic pause) I'm happy to take some requests or ideas for things you'd like to see happen if any of you have any or answer questions. I really worked tirelessly on this since I posted the last chapter. Hope you're enjoying the story so far.


End file.
